Listening to: Music
I know my friends/watchers normally don't read my journal entries but I felt like sharing this. It's been a good two months since I finally decided that enough was enough and moved out from under my mother's thumb, she used her last strike against her and I officially snapped. Back in September, my boyfriend and a couple of our friends came out one night to pick me up to come spend a few days with them, well that night I ended up in the ER thanks to a panic attack and while I was there, my mother and I got into an argument over the fact she assumed my panic attack had been brought on by my boyfriend and when she wouldn't listen to reason, I told her I was going to leave with them when I got released from the ER. Anyway, we get home and still mad at each other, so when my boyfriend and friends showed up, I was crying and just wanted to get out of the house and away from my mother, but when I got outside, she came chasing after me and started yelling and cussing at my boyfriend, telling him she was going to call the cops if he ever came back on her property. So we just left... Well, after spending a few days with my boyfriend and one of our friends that came to get me that night, my mother sent my boyfriend a text threatening to have him arrested if he ever showed up again and that was my snapping point, so our friends took me back to the house and helped me pack my stuff, as I'm packing, my mom comes out of her room and asks me what I'm doing, so I told her straight out that I was packing my stuff and moving in with my boyfriend and our friend, all she had to say to me was "I kicked him out, not you..." (referring to my boyfriend) Hearing that, I held my tongue because I wanted to tell her the real reason I was moving out, I managed to tell her that I go where he goes. Since then, I haven't been in contact with her and she doesn't know where I live now. There are nights, like last night that I was afraid to fall asleep because I keep thinking I'm going to wake up back in my old room and be trapped living with my mother, but then I wake up curled up next to my boyfriend and feel better. A lot of my stress has gone away, as well as depression and anxiety that was being caused due to living with my mother, there are some things I'm still working on, but things have been good. My mother might be thinking I'm just like my sisters, who hate her guts and walked out because they thought she was a horrible mother, and to a very vague point, she'd be right, I walked out to make a better life for myself, I hate how she treated me the last several years, but she still is my mother and I'm not like my sisters in any way, other than that. I didn't chase after some guy who's abusive, hateful or just wants to use me, I was rescued by a real man, who loves me, wants the best for me and wanted to help me get away from my mother. So, yeah, that's what I've been doing lately. Making my life better.